Transparent Mission

It’s getting late, too late to see

Beyond these walls in front of me.

I’m trapped among some old possessions,

Suffocated by untold confessions.

My life is like a question mark

As if I were groping in the dark,

For some kind of Holy Grail

Or something that would never fail.

I shut my eyes and I feel someone,

Or is just the setting sun,

Or is it the Earth turning away

Leaving the night its chance to play

With longings to satisfy a heart

That dreads to feel a world apart

From a careless and breathless smile

That leaves me helpless for a while?

As time passes, affections fade

Except the one divinely made,

The subject of nearly every song

That plays on the radio all day long.

How much repetition can you take

Until you want to see a window break?

But it’s what you plant that matters,

Not whether or not the glass shatters.

And then it’s about where the seed lands,

Would she draw me in with gentle hands?

I need a new reality today,

Is there one on sale to take me away?

Can a movie take me on a trip

That lets me forget I’m on a sinking ship?

Yet I’m in no mood for any relief

That requires me to adopt a belief

That a happy ending will ease my pain

Any more than a cheerful song will stop the rain.

I wonder if someone saved me a place

Or if I’ll disappear without a trace

Into the woods like a troubadour

Only to return when I want something more,

To share with others new perceptions

Of how to live without preconceptions.

My heart takes off in another direction,

It’s part of a process called natural selection,

Where I’m attracted to whatever makes me stronger,

Or to whatever might keep me around longer.

”You’re such a good kisser,” she said,

The words kept ringing in my head.

Of course the words weren’t directed at me,

But that didn’t keep me from fantasy.

Yet it’s time to move on, to find another shore,

To rediscover what it is I’m really living for.